People’s relationships with sex toys are interestingly complex. Some women are shy with them but want to love them, meanwhile most men see these objects as competitors of their performance. Whilst the popularity of adult toys has increased significantly over the past decade, there is no denying the taboos surrounding vibrators and other devices that may be intended to increase one’s pleasure. For instance, heterosexual men who reportedly used sex toys with their partners admitted to having lower levels of sexual satisfaction than men who had never used a sex toy with their partners. This contrast has much to do with the fact that male partners tend to view adult toys as a product that is designed to increase their partner’s pleasure as opposed to their own. This feeds into the idea that many heterosexual men don’t see their partner’s sexual pleasure as something that involves them.
The taboo around sex toys and how men feel towards them also panders to the myth that using these toys is a poor reflection on the man’s sexual ability. Furthermore, some heterosexual men believe that sex toys will replace them or if they do use them, their partners may become reliant on them for arousal and/or their orgasm.
However, we feel it important to emphasise that sex toys shouldn’t be seen as the enemy, they can actually be used in unison with the male performance in a way that benefits both parties. In fact, couples who explore various forms of intimacy (including using sex toys in the bedroom) tend to fare better when it comes to maintaining the passion, desire and satisfaction in their relationship.Through positive communication, you can show your partner that you respect their sexual urges in the same way that they do yours.
On the flip side, there are intriguingly some women who dislike using their sex toys. One reason is because some women feel that it’s impersonal; these women prefer touch and sensuality that a physical partner offers that a vibrator cannot. If this is the case with you, this is all the more reason to insinuate your vibrating pleasures with your partner and introduce an adult toy into both of your sex lives. It’s all about teamwork! Another reason why some women reportedly favour physical contact with their vibrator(s) is because they’ve become too dependent on it and can no longer orgasm without it. If you find yourself falling into this nest of favouring your vibrator over your partner’s performance, it might be time to scale back your usage to only a couple of times a week as opposed to every night. Sex experts have advised that another good tip is to swap your vibrator for your own hand when you’re masturbating with your toy and feel yourself “getting there”.
A final reason some women dislike their vibrator is simply because it’s not the right one for them. While it may take some time (and money!), it might be in your best interest to literally trial and error multiple sex toys to see which one stimulates you right. Get your researching hat on and learn about all the different shapes, sizes, and materials that vibrators come in. Better yet, get your partner to order the toys they think you’ll enjoy too.
